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Captain

What is a dominant personality? What is a submissive personality? Which one describes you best?

http://qna.live.com/ShowQuestion.aspx?qid=DE7A5B0006AA44438494CDD0E50B​1A3CIn my opinion, the dominant personality sees itself as being the one in the seat of power. The dominant person needs to be in charge or they will have no self esteem and no sense of self. They will do whatever it takes to make themselves happy.On the other hand, the submissive personality is happy with just being who they are. They do not need to be the center of attention, even though it's nice to have the attention. The submissive can become dominant if and whenever they choose. They have a default position of power to fall back on. They do whatever it takes to ensure their own happiness and sense of self, by making other people happy.Jackie received Best Answer last time, but I want to know more opinions. I want to hear more on this topic. What do you think is a dominant personality? What is a submissive? What is the difference?
Joshua Cromer:

Hmmm...I used to be submissive, but it was due to low self esteem I think...I am much stronger now than before and much more assertive. I can't be pushed around. I am a 'go getter' now and some would see me as dominating...but those who know me best know how sensitive I really am. I have a hard candy shell but I'm soft on the inside...I am whoever I need to be to survive...if it's for my career than I take control...my clients appreciate not having to 'guide' me as their therapist...but...if it's in my home, things change. I am in control of a lot of things around here...if I weren't, nothing would get done ;) but when it comes to romance, I truly like to be wooed...I like the man to be assertive romantically so I can be the 'lady'...I don't mean to be 'risque'...but I've heard it takes a dominant woman to be submissive, that deep down she's the one really in control...I just know what I want and who I am...I am both...and each comes naturally to me...does that make me 'Sybil'? So be it ;)(:

Captain:

No, you're not Sybil. It just further proves my point. The truly dominant personality cannot become submissive. They don't know how. The submissive can take a lot of negatives that life gives them and turn it around so that they can become dominant. The submissive personality has a fallback position that they can go to whenever they choose. The dominant personality has no such position. They cannot even imagine it. Like you, I am both submissive and dominant when the situation calls for it. I can be one or the other, because I can imagine being one or the other. Thanks for your answer Yvonne.

Cubby:

dominant one takes control and is in control submissive one has no control because its whatever the dominant one says I'm the dominant one i don't know how to be submissive i could barely answer this question on being submissive

Captain:

You have proven my point. The dominant personality has an absolute need to be in contol. They are incapable of seeing from the opposing perspective, which is why they tend to fall victim to illusions so easily. The submissive may look like the weaker of the pair, they may look like a dog that's been beat too much, but they are capable of imagining themselves in the other seat. They can see the opposite perspective. One day, they will find out there is a limit to how much they will put up with. Most of them reach out and grab hold of the dominant person and they will struggle for that seat of power. The submissive will become the dominant, not because they have to, but because they want to.

Notsomuch:

Good question Kota! According to your definitions here I would think I am submissive. I'm not real sure though. I'd love input from others that know me or have talked to me in PM or maybe even input from people that have seen and read my questions and answers. I'm really curious about this and what others think. What do you think?

Ron-QnA-MVP:

Overall, I would say mostly submissive Julie. Just my guesstimation! :)

Captain:

I would say you are mostly submissive. But you have shown that you can be dominant if you need to be. However, you choose the submissive role because it gives you more control over your own peace of mind. To me, that's what is important in life, being able to find peace of mind.

Billgatesfangurl:

I agree... and if ya can't find peace of mind then it's good to find a good "peace" officer... ROFL!!! Hiya Ron :)BB

Billgatesfangurl:

By your definition I would say I am submissive or in the infamous words of POPEYE... "I yam what I yam" :)BB

Captain:

I am fairly certain submissive is the best of both personality types, because we can see from both points of view.

Billgatesfangurl:

excellent point!!!

Sparklymomma:

one takes one gives, i am both i don't take no bull---- and i don't give no bull----

Pete:

Hmm, I've only used those terms in relation to dogs. I hope that most people can't be put into one category all the time. We should be able to adapt and choose a course of action that fits the circumstance and our abilities.

Captain:

I agree. Unfortunately, this is the natural order of things. I preffer a happy medium, somewhere in between.

Linda:

I see this several ways: First I think of multiple personality disorder where usually one personality is dominant and the rest are at different levels of submissive personality.

I see it in BDSM terms which one is dominant and the other submissive, but the submissive (theoretically) has ultimate power and control with the use of a safe word.

I also see it in terms of relationships where one is dominant, the other submissive - In my opinion these definitions can vary to the extent of the behavior, and they can be used to describe either or both partners at any given point in the relationship. I believe either could be both dominant and submissive in a given day.

For instance one could be more educated and informed about a particular subject or aspect of the relationship and therefore make most of the decisions in that area with the other acknowledging the superior decision making ability of the other and being submissive to their decisions along those lines. But perhaps where something else is concerned the other has more experience and knowledge and is dominant.

Some ppl are very highly dominant and want to be dominant in all situations and others might be highly submissive in all situations.

I think most of us fall somewhere in between. I think idealistically both partners are involved in the decision making process as a team and take turns being submissive in other areas :)

Captain:

You are definitely on the right track. This is what I believe.

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