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TreeOfLife

What do you do when your daughter says somebody "Touched" her, but they were never alone?

Bethany:

Do you trust the person who touched your daughter? Do you know anything about their past? Ask someone who has known this person for a long time. What were they doing,playing, personal contact, etc.. Investigate. If this person is known to have done this before, don`t let them around your daughter, and report it to Childrens Services, abuse Dept., and check to see if he has a history of this. They will advise you on what to do. Good luck! Stanley

TreeOfLife:

My daughter is my step-daughter and she lives with her mother, she brought this up a while ago, Her mother never took her to the hospital or called the police, When she and my husband sat down with my step-daughter, to find out what happened her mother didn't let her talk at all, it was like she was couching her what to say. This was last June well, the reaction we got from her mother made us start to not believe it. I know we should believe something this serious, but the way it was handled by her mother it was like she was putting things in her mind. WHAT DO I DO?????? Help

Knight:

Are you sure they never were alone? You should first ask her where and what happened.. than confront this person..I agree with the others call the cops and get this resolved.. if it happened and you ignore it your daughter will wind up keeping it in secret and it may just continue.. if you sort this out it will be better for both you and your daughter.. if she is lying than she will have guilt seeing the cops involved in this and may just come out with the truth.. one thing is always listen to your child when they do come out and say someone has touch them..NEVER ignore it.

Oingoboingo17:

never?
You never left to use the rest room, answer the phone or turned your head to cough.
If your daughter says it happened and you can not prove or disprove it, my recomendation would be to chose you daughter over your "friend".
What is her motivaton for lying? How much damage would be done by believing her (true or not)? How much damage would be done by denying her?

kids first

Mamie:

load up your gun

Slick:

i agree

Nell:

I agree as well

Mamie:

let me add this, you need to listen to your daughter. Stop coming up with a hundred reasons why it couldn't of happened, and realize that it probably took alot of courage from her to tell you, and if you tell her it didn't happen she will never be able to come to you again with a problem. I know it is probably hard for you to deal with the fact that it might have happened, and I don't blame you for trying to deny it, but you need to put that aside and talk to her! If she is telling you the truth then both of you need to deal with it and get the proper help and support, most importatly is that SHE NEEDS YOU!!! She is looking to you for help, please give it to her!!!

TreeOfLife:

We NEVER told her it didn't happened, these are my thoughts and they haven't been discussed with her, only between my husband and I , and her mother. What is the "proper" help????

Mamie:

Sandi I apologize, I didn't read your comment under the question before I responded, I was only going on your initial question, which wasn't very clear. I don't know what to tell you without knowing the whole story, her mother might be making all this up, but I really hope for everyone involved that nothing happened to your daughter, for real.

TreeOfLife:

Well, last june after the kids were picked up, visitation, every other weekend, blah blah blah, well we got a phone call from her mother saying that she had told her that my cousin "touched" her, well of course there was concern, but he wasn't home all weekend long, actually he didn't get home until after the kids were picked up, at the time he was 16 yrs old. a bunch of kids in the house on the weekend doesn't seem to fun for a teenage boy so he would go to a buddy's house almost everytime they would come over. but besides that, she called and wanted us to "talk" to him??? WHAT!!! not a normal response, correct me if I am wrong but wouldn't you have taken her to the hospital???? So I said for my husband and his ex-wife to sit down with there daughter and figure out what happened, they met the next day and it seemed like she was being couched, I mean maybe her mom was just upset and didn't know how to handle the situation but damn, let the kid speak!!! Well this was completely dropped and then three days ago mutual friends started to bring it up, My thing is only we knew what was going on and my husband nor I told anyone, it wasn't anything to discuss with anyone, (maybe the police) but we were scared that if this is a lie what happens to this 16 (now 17) kid??? anyways, I personally called her mom and asked why I was hearing these things from other people and then she said oh ... well I was going to call you, Lexi is telling her daycare lady about it and so on so forth, but she didn't call us, nor the police, or social worker nobody!!! I just don't want to ruin a kids life over something, but I don't want my step-daughter to feel she can't tell us things, now say this is true I will personally bet the hell out of him MYSELF!!! But if it isn't true what damage has this done to her??

Mamie:

I feel as though you are right for having your suspicions, because it doesn't seem like the mother responded "normal". Being a mother myself I would of took her to the hospital right away to see if there was anything wrong. I feel she should of done that instead of running her mouth all over town. If she felt like she had to tell somebody, the right person would of been the police. She does seem shady on how she handled it. Wow, that sounds like a tough situation to be in, either way you are dealing with 2 kids lives that can be permantly damaged, true or not true. Like I said before, I seriously hope that the story is not true. I work in a foster care agency and see and hear all sorts of things that break my heart. But sometimes the kids will get mad and make things up about their parents or foster parents and of course we have to have an investigation and do all that (and I am certainly not saying that happened in your case) but although I am relieved to hear when the accusations are false, to think of what those families had to go through for a lie is horrible. Thats a hell of a thing for those kids to go through, and of course you and your husband and the rest of the family too. I am really praying for all of you.

Nell:

You love her and believe in her. call the cops and take her to the doctors.

Friday's child:

I would Never allow that person in my home or near my daughter again. That is, if you are 100% confident that your daughter is being truthful. Often, children are very jealous over another person who they fear will take your time and attention from them. Consider both sides of the story and make your decision from what you feel is the complete truth in the situation. Kids have learned through television that claiming molestation can quickly eliminate a person from their environment. You know her best, and if her personality and past actions might merit her making a claim like this out of dislike for the guy. But remember, she is a child and often, children confuse things and make things up to suit their wants without caring or actually understanding how serious the results can be. If you are confident that she is telling the whole truth, confront the guy and let him know he is never welcome near her or you again or you will report him to the police!

M. L.:

i have, and i will always believe my chidren no matter what. i called the police, i called cps and i called the doctor.

Judy:

I would always get it checked out by the police. If the person involved has nothing to hide then they will understand that you are concerned. Would this really be something she would make up? you know her best..... and if proven not to be true then discuss with your daughter as it may be an underlying reason why she said it.

TreeOfLife:

The person involved is ready to have a lie-detertor test done, an investigation, the whole nine-yards, that is another reason I am in doubt and if this door is opened and it is found that it isn't true what do I do, and if it is I would kill em!!!!

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